Jealousy can be a powerful thing in a relationship. If you know how to harness the power of jealousy you can have your man wrapped around your finger.
But you need to trigger just the right amount of jealousy.
It’s like Goldilocks: for this strategy to work you need to get it just right.
If you’re too subtle he won’t even notice. But if you overdo it you risk turning him off and even losing him.
Why should you make him jealous?
Let’s face it: men can be frustrating. Sometimes being devoted and accommodating only leads to you being treated like a doormat.
There are tons of reasons why you might want to make him jealous:
- he’s treating you as just an option
- you’re not sure if he likes you and you want to find out
- he openly flirts with other women even though you don’t like it
- you don’t feel appreciated in the relationship
- he left you and you want him back
- his passion for you seems to have faded
- it feels like he has all the power in your relationship
Plus a million more reasons.
In a perfect world you wouldn’t have to resort to making him jealous to get what you want. But sometimes it’s necessary.
If you’re already together it can reignite your relationship like you wouldn’t believe. And if you’re not officially together it can reel him in quickly.
What to do (and what not to do)
In order to make this work you have to be strategic.
I recommend the subtle route. The best way to explain what I mean is to give you examples.
Here are a few ways you can make him jealous. I’ll tell you the right way to do it and the wrong way.
Do: Be friendly and *slightly* flirty with other guys
You don’t have to obviously flirt with another guy to make your man jealous. Just being super friendly and outgoing toward other men is sometimes enough to do the trick.
What this does is remind him that you can have fun and interesting conversations with other men. It shows that you wouldn’t have a hard time finding someone else if you wanted to.
So if it seems like he’s playing games and taking you for granted, this little reminder should bring him back to reality.
Don’t: Hit on other guys
Don’t go caressing other men or telling other men how hot they are. It runs the risk of backfiring in your face.
It could seriously upset him and feel hurt and disrespected. We want him to feel jealous, not emasculated. Don’t be surprised if this leads to a big argument or even a breakup.
It might also make him suspicious of you. Even if the whole reason you do it is to get closer to him, he might interpret it as sign that you could cheat. And it’s never fun dealing with an insecure boyfriend.
Do: Mention a fun experience you had with an ex
Men like to think that your life began when you met the. They don’t want to think about that fact that you did indeed have good times with other men before.
All you need to do is acknowledge that you once did a fun (non-sexual) activity with someone else. He’ll immediately feel jealous but probably try to hide it since he knows he shouldn’t be jealous over something like that. But you’ll be able to tell nonetheless 😉
Don’t: Talk about how good the sex was with your ex
Don’t ever talk in depth about your past sexual history. No men want to know the gory details. Even if they ask, don’t give it to them.
Talking about sex in the past will make him jealous, alright. But it could end up being a very unhealthy level of jealousy.
Some men get retroactive jealousy – jealousy over your past – and can’t get over it. No matter what they won’t be able to get the image of you with another man out of their head.
I can’t stress enough how damaging this can be to a relationship. If you’re trying to recharge your relationship, this could end up having the complete opposite effect.
Do: Keep hanging out with your guy friends
You should definitely keep your guys friends when you’re in a relationship, whether you’re trying to make your man jealous or not.
There might be times when he feels jealous that you’re choosing to spend time with another guy instead of him, even though it’s just as friends. Let him be. He has no reason to feel that way, but you can use it to your advantage if you want to make him jealous.
Don’t: Be secretive about who you’re spending time with
You don’t want to act suspicious. He has nothing to be afraid of. But if you’re secretly texting and spending time with other guys and lying about it, he might start to wonder.
Remember: there’s a difference between jealousy (good in small doses) and suspicion (which is never good).