You meet a guy you like and things are going well. Just as you’re starting to get excited about what this could be… he vanishes.
No texts. Nothing. Ghosted.
The worst part about ghosting is that you don’t know for sure if it’s happening. It can take days or even weeks of silence before you really know.
What Is Ghosting In Dating?
Ghosting is when the person you’re dating stops contacting you without warning.
It usually happens all of a sudden. Things will seem fine, and then they stop replying to your messages and avoiding you in person.
And since they aren’t talking to you, it’s hard to figure out why they suddenly lost interest. It’s one of the most frustrating things in dating.
Ghosting is most common early on in relationships, especially when things aren’t defined yet.
It can happen after weeks and months of dating (or longer). Or it can happen after just a few dates, or with a guy you’ve been talking to online for a while.
Why Do Guys Ghost?
Men ghost because they changed their mind about you, but they don’t feel it necessary to tell you that.
Sometimes that’s because you two are not officially an item. If it’s only been one or two dates, he might think it’s presumptuous to tell you that he’s not interested – for all he knows you might not be that interested either.
If he ghosts after more than a few dates it’s because he wants to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation about ending the relationship. It’s obviously selfish on his part because he is only thinking of his own feelings. He completely ignores the fact that you’re agonizing over it.
Ghosting vs “Breadcrumbing”
When he suddenly stops talking to you without warning, that’s ghosting. But when he gradually disappears – by texting you less and always being “busy” – it’s referred to as “breadcrumbing”.
They are two sides of the same coin. In each case the guy is taking the indirect route because he thinks it’s easier than just telling you he’s not interested, like an adult.
And in both cases you still don’t know for sure what’s going on while it’s happening.
How To Tell If You’re Being Ghosted
The most obvious clue is he’s not texting you back.
If it’s only been a couple hours and he hasn’t responded to you then it’s too early to say you’ve been ghosted. Even if he takes the entire day there could still be an explanation.
Once it’s been 24 hours or so, ghosting is a bit more likely. Everybody checks their phone at least once a day, so he probably got your message. Not responding is a bad sign. If you were his dream woman he would have found a way to respond.
If he responds after more than a day he might be breadcrumbing you, which is just a more drawn out version of ghosting.
If he hasn’t responded and it’s been 2-3 days, you’re probably being ghosted.
Still not sure whether he’s making like Casper? Try this quiz!
About This Quiz
I present to you the “Is He Ghosting Me?” quiz.
It’s based on all we’ve read about people’s experiences with ghosting, as well as our own experiences. When we put it all together we could see patterns in the way people acted when they are ghosting. So this quiz is based on the experiences of hundreds of people.
You will get a result at the end and some tips for what to do. All answers are confidential!